Phoebe's Birthday

So I had another baby.  And here's her story :)

I never wrote Lark's birth story.  I probably never will.  I don't even like thinking about Lark's birth.  It was my first hospital experience and it was pretty terrible.  The birth part that is... the labor was ok.  Recovery was GREAT.  But the actual BIRTH was straight out of my worst nightmare.  I was held down by several hysterical nurses who screamed at me to push.  There was a pillow over my face that I couldn't move away because they were holding my arms down.  It was several minutes of chaos and, for me, terror.  So when I found out just four months later that I was pregnant again I was determined not to have a repeat experience.  For the first time in my whole life I decided to go with an OB instead of a midwife. 

So I asked my amazing doula Carnley Proud to recommend a doctor and she immediately told me to go to Dr. K in San Destin.  And that proved to be a match made in heaven.  I have never fallen in love with a care provider like I did with her.  I've worked with midwives.  I've been to midwifery school.  Homebirth is and always will be my heart.  I've preached and believe in the "midwifery model of care" and how important it is to make sure midwifery is an option for as many women as possible.  And I found everything I ever wanted in a midwife in a doctor.  Crazy.  She listened to me, empowered me, encouraged me, and never once acted like your typical doctor.

Up until about 34 weeks I thought I was going to need a cesarean for complete placenta previa.  We even scheduled the surgery for 37 weeks.  But my placenta finally moved and I was good to go for a vaginal birth instead.  As relieved and happy as I was about that I was also very nervous because my doctor was going to be out of town for more than a week right around my due date.  And I absolutely did not want to have anybody else deliver the baby but her.  By this point I considered her a friend and we joked about being BFFs at every appointment.  I just didn't want to have a baby without her.  So, although it went against nearly everything I'd ever believed in- I requested to be induced a week before my due date on Monday February 24th .  The hospital actually didn't have any induction appointments available.  So my doctor hatched a plot in whispers for me to come in very early that day for an appt. and she would put me into labor in the office.  We'd leave and go to breakfast and walk around the shops and then send her a text when we were ready to head to the hospital.  Her plan was to cancel the rest of her day and come hang out and labor with us.  She gave me her personal cell phone number and she and Drew created play lists of the Smiths (they are both crazy Smiths fans... we gave her a vintage copy of Meat is Murder on vinyl as a gift after the baby was born) and Morrisey to listen to in the hospital.  She told us she didn't usually get to hang out and labor with her patients but she definitely wanted to be there with me.  I just loved her.

Sunday morning, the day before I was supposed to be induced, I woke up at 5:50am with a contraction that I immediately recognized as a labor contraction.  I'd been dealing with prodromal labor for weeks which is very typical for me, but this was different.  I got up to go to the bathroom and had a couple more.  I came out of the bathroom and made it as far as the end of the bed.  I grabbed Drew's foot and shook him awake- I said "I'm in labor... I'm getting in the shower but I want to call Carnley first and we need to call the doctor."  I also told him I wanted to spend some time laboring at home.  I didn't want to get to the hospital to early.  I called my doula and said "it's going to be a Sunday baby not a Monday baby!"  I told her the same thing about wanting to labor at home for awhile.

Once I was in the shower I had a few more strong contractions and changed my mind about laboring at home.  The hospital was an hour away and I didn't want to be stuck in a car trying to manage contractions that were any stronger than what I was already experiencing.  So as soon as I got out of the shower I told Drew and my doula (who is smarter than me and came over immediately in case I changed my mind about staying home for very long) that we needed to go to the hospital right away.  I also wanted to make sure we got there in time for me to get an epidural.  I had been going back and forth the entire pregnancy about whether I truly wanted to do this birth naturally or not.  By the time the real contractions started I decided I wanted to give myself a break and see what is like to give birth without being in pain.  The last thing I said to Carnley and Drew was that I had definitely decided to get an epidural.

Drew sent my Dr. a text to let her know I was in labor and that we were heading to the hospital and she replied that she'd see us soon.  As soon as we got in the car my labor seemed to slow down.  During the first 40 minutes of the hour long drive I only had a couple contractions and they were not very strong.  Yet I still felt very laborish.  I couldn't tolerate Drew talking to me or the radio playing.  I mostly just concentrated on staring out the window, trying to hypnotize myself by watching the wipers (oh yeah... there was a crazy thunderstorm happening too!) and willing the baby to stay put.  It was so weird feeling urgent about the labor yet not having any contractions either.  About ten minutes before arriving at the hospital I had two very strong contractions and I thought "oh we're not going to make it...." but then I realized we had just passed a McDonalds that is only ten minutes away and thought "no, we might be ok... I'm going to time these contractions."  I kept trying to focus on the clock but I would get so confused... it seemed like the contractions were lasting over a minute and only a minute apart but during the peak I would totally lose focus and couldn't remember what time it was at all.  But it was something to focus on besides being in pain in a car so I kept doing it. 

As we approached the light to turn left onto the street where the hospital is, I had another contraction and felt her head move down.  I yelled really loud and immediately unbuckled and turned around backwards on my knees in the front seat.  We were at a red light and behind another car.  Drew told me he briefly considered pulling around and running the light but decided that wasn't a safe idea.  As we turned I told him "the baby is coming now!  stop the car!"  He said "we're almost there!"  But then her head came out (I still had on clothes too...I had put on a depends before leaving the house in case my water broke in the car but I was afraid she was going to be born with my clothes on) and I said "No you idiot!  Her head is out!  Stop the car!"   So he pulled over right next to the hospital... we were SO close.  He ran around to help get my clothes off and Carnley, who guessed what was happening as soon as she saw him stop the car, ran over to help.  So Drew yanked down my pants, and my wonderful doula caught my baby on the side of the road, in the pouring rain, during a thunderstorm.  As her head was born I remember thinking "this is weird, her head is out but my water hasn't broken yet..." as soon as I completed that thought my water DID break, but technically she was born in the caul even though I still had on my clothes so nobody got to see it.

And then Drew called our Doctor and told her we'd just had a baby on the side of the road :).  We pulled around to the hospital entrance and Carnley ran inside to tell them we'd just had a baby and needed a wheelchair.  They actually sent us away and told us to go to the entrance for the Family Birth Place.  We thought that was kind of funny.  I'm sitting on the front seat, half naked, with a baby still attached by her cord, and the security guy took one look at us and was like "oh hell no.... go deal with the baby folks!"  So we kept driving while I held the baby on my lap.  The irony of that is I spent the last few weeks obsessing over the perfect carseat to buy and Phoebe's first ride in the car was on my lap in the front seat of the car :).

My doctor met us right at the front of the Family Birth Place and the nurses came out with a wheel chair.  It was all very calm and kind of anti-climactic.  Nobody was freaked out or worried.  We didn't have a big exciting story involving EMS or helicopters or holding up traffic.  However, this was our third birth in a row where the person who was *supposed* to catch the baby wasn't there.  And I guess technically it was our second unassisted birth!  And obviously I didn't get an epidural.  From start to finish I was in labor for less than two hours and probably had about 20 contractions total.  Drew was hoping we'd end up on the news but I was VERY relived that we didn't.  But nearly everyone who came into our room had heard about our exciting road side delivery.  Several people asked if I was scared and the answer is no... not once was I ever scared.  It honestly was just very calm for how crazy it was. 

And so that's it!  The end!